I do this – mince my words. I’m a bit ashamed to say so; but I do it. Rather than speak the truth about situations – even persons, I slice and dice rather than spit out the truth!
Mincing words is not dancing around the facts; but skirting issues of truth that ought be brought openly into the light. Tweet this. Since, as believing women, Jesus is our role model; we ought follow His lead and speak the truth without flinching – letting the chips fall. . .
Yet we don’t! At least I don’t as often as I ought!
The question is “why“. Why do we avoid being open, honest and straightforward in our dealings with others – even when such dealings involve life’s “tough stuff”? I believe the word for it is “confrontation“. Us humans simply don’t like confrontation. While I’ve learned to do it and do it fairly well while leaving other’s integrity intact; it causes a few knots in my stomach.
I bring this up today for several reasons. One is we are approaching year-end holidays and a time when families gather to celebrate. All too often, “family” includes those who are not related by blood. And that can be a sticky-wicket even when folks share the same familial DNA!
I also bring it up because of several personal and professional situations over the past several months where “spitting out the truth” should have been how I handled the situations. Not that I relish tough stuff; but I do feel strongly about speaking truth.
Jesus, our role model never minced words – NEVER! He always spoke both fact and truth – without a single concern about how the other(s) felt once the words faded from their ears. And He didn’t soften His words when it came to his friends either – remember His rebuke to Peter? Imagine your best friend comparing you to Satan – and saying so!
Jesus read the pedigree of the Jewish religious leaders of His day and walked away without an ounce of remorse after calling them out for WHO and what they were – “whitened sepulchers and empty tombs” I’m sure that went over well. . . Yet it was fact – and truth!
We’ve reached a day and age where the name of the game is political correctness. We play word games with folks who would as soon kill us as look in our direction. We don’t call a spade a spade. We dance around both facts and truth for fear of hurting other’s feelings. To hell with feelings. If a lie is a lie – then why spin it as anything but a lie! If the passive aggressive tactics of other believers are harmful to self and others, why call it anything else?
Why let folks off the hook just to make ourselves look good by taking the “high road”. I don’t recall a time in Scripture where Jesus took the high road. He didn’t because He didn’t fear to speak facts and truth.
So how come I fail in this critical life department? Why do you?
1). We want to be liked. Let’s face it; we don’t want others to think ill of us and they might if we speak what’s really on our minds – and hearts. What’s fact-based-on-truth. (Note I combine “fact” with “truth”).
2). We take the easy road. The “easy road” is never the “high road”. it’s the broad thoroughfare through the valley where we don’t have to worry about others coming after us for speaking up – and out.
3). We fear reprisal. If I tell the person who is related to my family through marriage why no one wants to spend time with her; what will be the broader outcome among those who will have to deal directly once I’ve walked away? How will life be for them? I can salve my soul by saying I kept still out of respect for my loved ones.
There’s an ounce of truth to protecting love ones; but no one gains when we remain silent in the face of manipulation and control! Tweet this
And then there’s the silence that comes because I don’t know what a person with serious psycho-spiritual issues will do and say if I confront her duplicity and stab in the back. Perhaps it’s best to say nothing and pray others will discover her reality before they too are harmed. Hum, is that how Jesus would deal with such a situation?
4). We believe all confrontation is negative! Well it’s not fun; but it can have very positive outcomes when we approach it for reasons others than saving our own faces and doing away with knots in the gut! Most often, “confrontation” is how we perceive it – not the reality of the situation. Tweet this too!
If we, as women of the Christian faith, are serious about Jesus as our role model; then we must take all of Him. Not just the parts that feel comfortable. We have to take the Man cleaning out the Temple with a whip with the Man who lovingly forgave the woman taken in adultery. We must speak our truth in the same manner He spoke to the hypocritical religious leaders with little to no remorse trailing behind us.
Today, if you mince your words the same as I do; let us make a pact to follow the Lord’s lead. Learn the facts, discover the truth – and then speak it with the same integrity He did. Ultimately – all who hear will be better off because we choose the road less traveled by those who prefer soft soil beneath their feet!
Linda S. Fitzgerald, Visionary Partner
Champion of Ordinarily Extraordinary Women of the World
A Women’s Place Network, Inc. dba
Affiliated Women International
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