A few days ago I posted an openly honest revelation of my need to “take a break”. I was at a breaking point and knew that if I didn’t back away from social media and from folks in general; I would do and say things unbecoming. And that’s putting it mildly!
Seeking to recover from said malaise; I prayed for awareness, discernment and discovery. “What in the world is happening to me, Lord.” That was my prayer.
For months, I have struggled to get a handle why a sudden overwhelming interest in all things politic. Last summer I felt led to co-chair a local initiative involving county women to ‘significantly influence and positively impact the future of the community’. I’m not into this adventure up to my eyebrows.
And then there’s the national election cycle in which I’m passionately involved on behalf of one candidate (whose name shall go unmentioned). I want to read everything that’s posted anywhere – and everywhere. I’m easily frustrated when I have to make a choice between matters of business and matters of the latest political news. I refuse to watch or listen to primary election returns because I have a strong tendency to scream at the commentators as if they are listening for my responses. I am as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof to coin an old axiom for the heeby-geebies. (But I didn’t watch the Super Bowl either lest my favored Bronco’s lose and I couldn’t handle the defeat).
I can’t say I didn’t have a clue what PAPA was asking of me. The problem is I do. It was creeping up on me mentally as I sought to avoid it emotionally. Finally I gave in.
“Okay, FATHER, I accept the boldness you want me to have!” The tears that followed confession and acceptance were ample confirmation that I had given over to what I was avoiding.
I’ve thought of myself as “bold” for a number of years. It comes with ‘vintage age’ I’ve taught. As we grow more mature in all aspects; we tend to leave pretense behind and opt for the simplicity of telling it like it is and letting chips fall. But the truth is I had been somewhat playing the PC game while deluding myself otherwise. And when hit with other’s garbage – verbal or otherwise, I held my tongue instead of saying what I felt lest I injure or bruise a tender reed. Problem is – most of those dishing it out had long since outgrown the tender reed stage.
Learning to be bold involves a great many things. It involves understanding love in it’s truest form which is a willingness to speak the truth with as much caring concern for the other as possible. It understands that to withhold instruction, even that which comes in the form of discipline and correction, is not love at all. In fact, it’s just the opposite and says more about the withholder than the recipient.
There’s power in bold. For both the bolder and the boldee. Bold done properly and without malice aforethought is wonderfully freeing. And when the Spirit of God is wrapped with it; then it is what we call “setting the captives free”.
But it’s not easy to attain because boldness can wrap itself in narcissism, arrogance and an attitude of superiority. It’s the negative side that scares me about stepping into a greater boldness than that with which I have been living and doing. There are always those ready to label us narcissistic, arrogant or superior when our boldness trips others jealousy and envy buttons. It feels a bit like a slippery slope – the image of which conjures fear of leaning too far in any direction lest I fall into any or all of the negatives enumerated above.
Early in my personal journey with the Lord, I had to physically protect myself from a disturbed young woman who tried to prevent me from leaving the group home in which she resided. We wrestled for a long time for no other reason than I refused to exert the power and authority I had to open the door and leave. Finally in exasperation, I pushed her aside hard enough to tumble to the floor and swiftly walked out.
I was devastated. I felt I had betrayed my young faith and behaved in a way that a woman of God would not. Fortunately I had a wise mentor whose comment was “He had to get the flow going”. In other words, PAPA had to provide an occasion in which i would begin to rise and take command as I was destined to do.
But I fell into the old trap of seeing boldness as a huge steam roller rolling over everything and every person in my path. I saw it negatively. My mentor saw it in very positively.
I’m practicing exercising the bold I confessed and accepted. It’s not easy; but it’s necessary. And it’s much stronger, stouter and straightforward than the bold in which I’ve been operating.
It’s the steam roller with less false guilt about having my hand on the throttle while letting PAPA lay out the path!
Have you been called to bold?
Do you know the feelings about bold that I’ve expressed above?
Does the thought of engaging in personal-professional boldness feel a bit out of your comfort zone?
If so, what is it that you fear?
When you can answer these questions for yourself and then submit to the call to bold; you’ll find yourself on a higher level of destiny pursuit which is necessary to reach the success you desire!
Linda S. Fitzgerald, CEO & Visionary Partner
Champion of Ordinarily Extraordinary Women of the World
A Women’s Place Network, Inc. dba
Affiliated Women International
Neighborhood Boutiques-OPEN for YOUR BUSINESS
Connecting Women in Business Worldwide
COFFEE in the NEIGHBORHOOD
JOIN US HERE:
The Neighborhood at Facebook
Neighborhood Boutiques at Facebook
Image credits: RudeWomenQuotes.com