Painting the picture!
Nearly a year ago, an organization I helped to start in my home area took on a strange complexion. New leadership who had taken over from me when I served a “pro-tem” position turned nasty and ugly. Suddenly, I was the villian from whom stuff needed to be hidden. A secret meeting with a nefarious agenda was just one of the many things that suggested I might want to exit the parent organization and focus my energies and creative talents in one of the sub-groups that are the work horses of the organization.
Needless to say, it was not a pleasant time. Over the months that have followed I realized the personalities with which I was dealing are ones listed in the DSM-5 diagnostic tool used by all professional therapists; and are not particularly pleasant to work with. I have asked Papa God what I’m to learn about myself in this situation as well as how to deal with mixed messages and other frustrating behaviors that can quickly drive a sane person nuts!
I’m an excellent diagnostician; but understanding motivation doesn’t make the situation any more palatable. So. . .
What Do I Do Now?
Without belaboring the point and gory details, the opportunity to again be involved in major decision-making hovers just around the corner. When it occurred to me and a few others that I might again have some influence; I felt a level of excitement – albeit just above zero on the Richter Scale. I felt it must be Papa’s direction to take the opportunity and run with it.
Then morning came. The dawn broke and the dial on the scale fell to the floor. While I didn’t feel bereft; my gut was suggesting that just being on a work horse sub group was enough for now; considering we are about to launch AWI as it was meant to be.
After all, that is business. And the local group is just . . . not business. But a passion to do what I feel led to do by the Lord and use skills and abilities that when I work with the group are sharper than any two-edged sword ought to be!
So as the sun rose above the clouds yesterday a.m. and I was searching for a blog theme; it occurred to me to share my “on the horns of a dilemma” because I think many of you have such times in life when the decision seems so clear and concise; only to have it change color and hue when the sun rises. Or sets on the evening of our malcontent!
Faith Is Not A Feeling,
But the gut rumbles. . .
What I mean is that our instinctual tendencies, more commonly called “our gut” is often the best judge of what we are being called to do by faith. Spirit-filled Christians often refer to a ‘check’ in the spirit that tells us not to proceed. I’ve experienced it myself. Something comes my way and before I can give a definitive answer; I experience a clutch in the gut that says, “hum, might want to think that one over a while”. Or “don’t go that way, it’s dangerous and not intended for you!” Faith is the response to the gut-clutch that keeps us from straying where even angels fear to tread!
It’s true that faith is not a feeling. But it can and often does resonate in our bodies. Paying attention to our physical reaction to various life experiences is often the 1st clue to what the Lord is telling us. Example to follow. . .
Last year, when I would awake to a message from one of the folks of whom I wrote above, dread set into my bones. The gut-clutch was so severe that I often felt sick. How could a faith-filled mature Christian woman feel such abject dread about opening a message. I felt it because I knew it would not only be unpleasant, but would berate, deride and ridicule. Not the words as much as an attitude I had come to know all too well but wished I had not.
The Lord is good to stir up emotions and bodily functions when our personal safety and well being is at stake. So while faith is not a feeling; faith does often have feelings that are God-given and designed to assure or warn us.
Not Always the Lesser of 2 Evils!
On the horns of a dilemma does not always represent having to make a decision between the not so good and the utterly not so good. Sometimes, it’s simply not knowing which decision we make is the one the Lord has designed for us. The dilemma is less the decision needing to be made than which one is the door the Lord has for us to walk through. And when history tends to repeat itself; our personal history clouds the decision-making process.
In my situation, personally I want to have influence again so that the Lord’s vision and mission is fulfilled. But personally I don’t want any more crap that I lived through last year. So what do I do? That is the $64,000,000 question.
What’s The $64,000,000 Horns Upon Which You are Perched?
Do you have such a dilemma in your life? Is something gnawing at your gut which is a two-edged sword? Are you at 2 doors but don’t know which one is marked “The Lord’s Door”?
If the answer to the above is a solid “no”; then you are out of the mainstream. Because most of us have horns of dilemma in our lives on a fairly regular basis. Decisions that cause us some angst to make; but more angst not to do so.
If you’re a Christian business woman like me, who’s sittin’ on the horns of a dilemma I wish I hadn’t encountered; let me suggest we close ranks and choose to make the decision in faith without the assurance of what name is on the door we face. If it’s of the Lord. . . praise be to God.
If it is not, then praise be to God because we know He will haul us out before our hair is singed and reputations scorched. And next time we may choose to skirt the road on which the horns have been posted.
Linda S. Fitzgerald, M.S.Ed, CEO & Visionary Partner
A Women’s Place Network, Inc. dba
Affiliated Women International
Building a Community for Christian Business Women
The Neighborhood at Facebook
Affiliated Women International
AWIBoutiques at Facebook