Jesus was anything but politically correct. For that reason, he was not a people pleaser. In fact, he rubbed many folks the wrong way. So much so that they put him to death. But not before those who ruled the culture – Jewish and otherwise, mocked and ridiculed him for his words – and deeds!
Last week’s Sunday Series introduced the concept of people pleasing. Folks who find it difficult to express anything but the niceties of life for fear of disapproval – or worse yet – wrath. The wrath of anyone whether family, friends or total strangers.
And because they can’t risk same, they fail at expressing their truth – feelings, thoughts, ideas, etc. More than that, they are dishonest with themselves. It would not be such a major issue if people pleasing did not have a very negative side. Negative – and dangerous. Dangerous for those of us who must bear the brunt of their dishonesty when the truth comes out. And the truth will always come out.
At some point, the truth of people pleasers deception will come into the light, and it will backlash on those of us left to pick up the pieces. TWEET THIS
How so you may ask. . .
1. DECEPTION RULES – UNTIL: Folks who need the approval of all are those I label as “people pleasers”. They will hide true feelings, thoughts and ideas that they think will in anyway not gain the approval of others. Therefore they are deceptive and are adept at ingratiating themselves into the good graces of all who know and deal with them. They are experienced as kind, generous, benevolent to a fault and always willing to do what others ask of them, etc.
Dictionary.com defines ingratiate as “to establish (oneself or someone else) in the favor or good graces of someone, especially by deliberate effort.” Sounds benign; but it can be dangerous.
Because there will come a time when the needs of one ingratiated person will conflict with the needs of another. Both then become entangled in the web of deceit woven by the one in need of their common approval – the people pleaser.
The spotlight of truth swings over the situation – the deceit is exposed – the sense of betrayal wafts putrid in the air, and the actions of the people pleaser takes center stage!
I don’t know about you; but I’ve been one of those ingratiated who found herself on the horns of a people pleasers need to please everyone – and found myself wearing the “bad cop” label across my brow! For no other reason than I chose to expose and excoriate!
In most similar situations, I’ve found that the pleaser comes out smelling like a rosebud because she (or he) is viewed innocent, flawless and without a deceptive bone in the body. . .
So how does this relate to the Lord?
Better still how does it relate to our desire to grow in Him; become more like Him as we are called to be and do?
How does it impact our spiritual life and personal growth?
And how does the negative aspect impact our ability to be faithful to the command to “love others as myself”. It can be summed up as follows:
1. Jesus admonished us to “say yes when we mean yes and no when we mean no. Anything else comes from the evil one“. The Message interprets the last sentence as it being wrong to manipulate words to get our own way. No matter the translation or the specific interpretation, the message is clear – speak our truth. Say what we mean. And know that we are doing so. Tall order!
To do so at every turn in life means I have to know myself – and know myself exceedingly well. I have to have a great grip on my true motivations for saying anything in any given setting or circumstance. I can’t afford to say or do anything other than what is the absolute truth of who I am – and what I believe, think and know to be my truth.
That requires a close walk with the Lord on a moment by moment basis from the time He makes Himself known to me. It requires me to open myself totally to Him – it’s called “surrender“. It requires I give up ownership of me to take on Him and let Him become me in all of His glorious presence.
It takes a lifetime! It takes the Grace of God. For without it there go I as a people pleaser intent on ingratiating myself to all in order to be universally loved and adored. There would go Linda being deceptive, dishonest and foolish in my dealings with man – and with my PAPA God.
Finally, it takes courage, determination and a desire to please my Heavenly Father no matter the consequences of such actions. For to always seek to speak my truth, regardless of the outcome, is to truly love others as I love myself.
If I can’t speak my truth to me – then how in the name of God can I do it to others? I can’t! TWEET THIS.
We live in a culture and society that values P.C. – political correctness, whatever that means. Because the truth of it is that it means different things to different folks – or different segments and demographics. If I speak truth to one group; another is offended.
It’s simply impossible to always be P.C. with everyone and expect everyone to love and accept me even when that’s my deep-seated need. I suspect that if Scripture were being written today; the “say yes or say no” would refer to the desire to be politically correct in all aspects of our communication with others. But let me say this and leave it with you to mull over in the coming days. . .
Jesus wasn’t, isn’t and never will be P.C.! He did, does and will speak the truth to me in every encounter of our lives together. And He-in-me will continue to be mocked, hated and misunderstood for doing so!
As the old saying goes – if you can’t take the heat; get out of the kitchen!
In closing I ask: In what room of life will you decide to live?
Linda S. Fitzgerald, Visionary Partner & CEO
Champion of Ordinarily Extraordinary Women of the World
A Women’s Place Network, Inc. dba
Affiliated Women International
Neighborhood Boutiques ~ OPEN for YOUR Business
COFFEE in the NEIGHBORHOOD
Empowering Women of Faith to Thrive
[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]https://affiliatedwomeninternational.com//wp-content/uploads/2015/05/linda-google-NB-profile-pic.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]I have a ‘fiery’ passion to see women become all they are designed to be – personally, professionally and most of all – spiritually. I write, teach, mentor and coach with that passion in mind. As an author and prolific blogger, I reach out to women in all walks of life, especially women of faith to empower and equip them for greatness. [/author_info] [/author]
Image Sources: #phuckyyoquotes at instagram