"He Didn't Come to Please!" ~ Women's Sunday Series

The past few Sunday’s I’ve been talking about ministry. Not ministry-as-usually-viewed-by-the-masses; but ministry as the purpose we seek to fulfill according to PAPA’s Will and direction. In short form – our work. Our work wherever it happens to be. Because if we’re fulfilling our purpose (destiny) as directed by the Lord; we’ll be serving others in some way, shape, form and capacity!

Today, I take a different approach. One that may be as controversial as the idea that ministry is not reserved to the religious community called church or organization. It’s the idea that in our “ministry” as purpose and destiny, we must seek to become more like our Lord. And in order to do so; we must come to know Him. Not just through the written word (Scripture); but in our hearts where we hear the rhema word of the Lord. “Rhema” meaning the right now present day word for us. And if we are of the prophetic, that word may be meant for others as well. 

The ministry of the prophetic is very much needed in this day and age as we seek to discern His Will and direction! TWEET THIS.

But that’s not the point of today’s Sunday Series. The point is looking to the personality, character, motivations, beliefs and actions of our Lord. Not the trite “WWJD”; Thomas Painebut the substance of what He did and why. More importantly, what does it mean for us and how do we achieve the same for us personally and in our ‘ministry’ in the marketplace?

The great America patriot, Thomas Paine, said it best:

“He Who Dares Not Offend Cannot Be Honest!” 

In other words, choosing to please people over the truth necessarily prevents us from speaking the truth.

The truth even in love as we are commanded to do!

But the saddest aspect of Paine’s wisdom is that the person with whom we are first (and foremost) dishonest is ourselves! It’s more impossible to find ourselves offensive in our own eyes as it is in the eyes of others!

And yet, to become more and more like our Lord; we must give up the notion that we can never ruffle any feathers – even for the good of others, because someone might not like us. And of course, we might not like ourselves which is the most dastardly experience of all!

But I can tell you; when push comes to shove, the day arrives when we become so nauseated by our need to please that the only way out is to admit our failing before the Lord and ask Him to help us change our ways! And when we ask from our brokenness, we have the assurance He will comply.Jesus the Crucified

But in the beginning, I stated “He didn’t come to please”. If he had, then we would have nothing to celebrate. Nothing to hang onto as the means to eternal life. To the promise of not only salvation; but of the life-long process of sanctification.

For had Jesus been a people-pleaser, they would not have put Him to death! TWEET THIS

Thank God He was an honest man, not given to deception of self – or others! And thank God we too can emulate Him – His personality, sincerity and integrity so that others are brought to a deeper more authentic relationship with Him – and each other!

Here’s some of my thoughts on people-pleasing (those who dare not offend):

1. SOURCE of the TRUTH – It’s true. He was born without the propensity for Sin (or “to” sin). However, He grew into an understanding of His divine nature and destiny. He remained always open to the direction, leading, teaching, wisdom and knowledge that comes from the Source. From His “Abba” which translates as Papa. He had no unrealistic assumptions about Who He is relative to Who His Father is.

In fact, He said, “I do what I see the Father doing”.

The Father is definitely not a “people-pleaser”! In fact, He’s no respecter of persons! His main motive is that we become (in our case), the woman He has designed us to be and to mature in the Lord – spiritually, emotionally and psychologically. If tough stuff has to be spoken, arranged, ordered, etc.; then that’s what PAPA will do for no other reason than He LOVES us!

And PAPA LOVE is meeting another’s needs – not her wants! TWEET THIS.

So if I’m more interested in protecting a false integrity with others; then I won’t be honest with them. Most of all, I won’t be honest with myself. Therefore I won’t grow in Him and ultimately may miss the destiny He has designed especially for me!

In order not to have that the lot of my life – I must admit to PAPA that I’m a people pleaser; ask Him to deal with it in me and take whatever lumps come my way as He does indeed deal with it! Not easy – but not impossible . This is, unless I refuse to do so!

BOTTOM LINE: I too must get and stay close to the SOURCE in order to hear and do what He directs me to do! And it won’t be as a people-pleaser. It may just require the opposite!TRUE FRIENDS 2

2. PEOPLE PLEASING is about the PEOPLE PLEASER – A person who must please others to the exclusion of truth and honesty ultimately does so for self-preservation. While he or she can convince self that it’s about sparing the other person pain, etc.; the truth is it’s about sparing the pleaser.

Ultimately the people pleaser doesn’t give a tinkers darn about the benefit to others; only the benefit to her or his self! If true care was the motive, then wild horses couldn’t keep her from speaking the truth in as much love as can be mustered so the other would grow and become.

That is, after all, what Jesus did! That was His lifestyle, His character and His integrity! He spoke the truth in love and let the chips fall where they may.  

We are expected to do the same!

Oh there’s so much more to this subject. Too much for one post and then onto something of a different matter. So until next Sunday, I urge those reading this to delve deep in the Lord and risk the question. . .

“Lord is it I who seeks to please others rather than pleasing you and my Heavenly PAPA?”



Linda S. Fitzgerald, Visionary Partner & CEO
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[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]https://affiliatedwomeninternational.com//wp-content/uploads/2015/05/linda-google-NB-profile-pic.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]I have a ‘fiery’ passion to see women become all they are designed to be – personally, professionally and most of all – spiritually. I write, teach, mentor and coach with that passion in mind. As an author and prolific blogger, I reach out to women in all walks of life, especially women of faith to empower and equip them for greatness. [/author_info] [/author]


Linda S. Fitzgerald

I have a fiery passion to see women become all they are designed to be - personally and professionally. I write, teach, mentor and coach with that passion in mind. As an author and prolific blogger, I reach out to women in all walks of life, especially women of faith to empower and equip them for greatness.


  1. Marquita Herald on August 2, 2015 at 12:51 pm

    Well I am not religious but I can see your point about the downside of people pleasing, and do agree with you that their actions are almost always to prevent discomfort for themselves rather than based on concern for others. Unfortunately this is very often a self esteem issue and difficult for the “people pleaser” to accept let alone change the behavior, but awareness is always the first and most important step so hopefully your wise words will help others to see the problem.

    • linda on August 5, 2015 at 11:53 am

      You know what Marquita. . . I’m not “religious” either. For me it’s a relationship. Which is why much of what I write in our Women’s Sunday Series is as appropriate for women who don’t consider themselves “religious” as those who consider ourselves women of faith. The “religious” will never agree. . .



  2. Monica on August 2, 2015 at 3:21 pm

    Excellent post Linda! The truth really does set us free, as the saying goes.

    • linda on August 5, 2015 at 11:53 am

      Yep. . .



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