Every business person – male or female, is focusing on goal-setting about this time of year. I am doing the same thing. However, I’m looking at business development relative to a new year (any new year for that matter) from a slightly different angle. The “emotional” angle.
You might say that the “emotional angle” is relative only to women in business. Most specifically those of us in micro and very very small businesses. And perhaps it is, for women generally tend to be more in touch with our emotional side than males. Males often make light of this fact, but then they also miss many of the business ‘nuances’ that, if ignored, can spoil business success! But that discussion or debate is not the subject of today’s article.
Since we’re talking about “drama”; let me set the stage! Over the past several days, I’ve encountered some “drama”. And I admit that I’ve been part and parcel of it because I didn’t check my emotions at the door. I permitted myself to get drawn in before realizing I had done so. Fortunately I was able to extricate myself rather quickly, but in one case, the damage was done! Thank PAPA, that case was not business related!!!
Perhaps it’s the holidays. Perhaps it’s that women are often required to focus on business while also managing and maintaining many other daily needs, i.e. family, home, community, etc. I believe we are built to multi-task; but don’t know that doing so is always the best option to take. But truth be told; there is something about this wonderful time of the year that brings out the “drama” in our souls. Here’s some of my thoughts on “drama” and how to deal with and avoid when possible. .
1. Much of what we consider “drama” really isn’t. It’s simply a blip in our communication. And that ‘blip’ most often occurs when we feel overwhelmed, harried and otherwise pressed over our limit.. When such happens to our bodies and minds; the emotions take over and before we know it – something simple becomes a major deal!
REMEDY – step back and wait. Don’t “knee-jerk” respond. Let the inner inferno die down before doing anything. And if you have a “vent partner”; this is a good time to ’employ’ her – or him!
2. Some “drama” is about ego or egos. And when it is; then communication is really the culprit. It’s so easy to set off an ego that is tender, fragile, or vulnerable to misunderstanding or misinterpretation. Especially true when it comes to social media. When we only know someone via social media and have little insight into their personality and character, it’s easy to say something that bruises the “big” ego or that which appears big, but is really just an empty shell surrounding significant vulnerability.
REMEDY – same as above (step back and wait) before responding. And it’s rare that communication resulting in “drama” is one-sided. So when we can be the bigger of the situation; offer an apology for your part and move on. If the other wants to belabor the point; then perhaps it’s time to move on permanently in order to avoid whatever game is being played!
3. And then there are the “drama queens” (or “kings”). Folks who simply thrive on drama. For some unknown reason; it energizes their lives. Gives it something more than what they consider “ordinary”. I’ve found that trying to deal constructively with those who must have drama to feel alive are folks I need to leave behind. Otherwise, it’s a constant stepping back; taking a deep breath and trying to say or do anything that won’t produce more “drama”.
REMEDY. . . cut them loose!
In the world of personality psychology; there are many reasons for playing the ‘drama’ game. Perhaps as many reasons as there are personalities. And all of us can initiate it and/or respond to it no matter how mature we’ve become personally, professionally and/or spiritually. This past week, I found myself falling into someone else’s “drama trap” all too easily for many reasons. Once I stepped back, took a breath and assessed the situations – I recognized my own emotional responses vs practicing the art of simple silence!
So, my dear friends in business; I encourage each of us to add the following to our 2016 goals:
a). Self-assessment. Learn where we are strong emotionally, psychologically, mentally, etc. Most of all, learn our ‘growing edges’.
b). Relationship-assessment. Take stock of all the relationships in our lives. Specifically focus on those with whom we communicate the most – family member, close friend, business partners and associates – even customers and clients. Honestly assess the quality of those relationships, i.e. what they add that is valuable to each other and what hinders the relationship from growing deeper and richer. Assess how we can do our part to add value to the relationship and ask the other(s) to do the same.
c). The “let-go” assessment. Let go of that which turns our realistic and practical sanity into drama on a regular basis. Whether it’s a personal or professional relationship or a life situation over which we have little to no control. Let it go. Let the other go. Sometimes that’s the best decision for all/
There you have something of a slightly different goal-setting nature for the coming new year. I hope you grasp how important this aspect of getting ready for success is to the process of achieving that which we most desire!
P.S. Remember – there are simply those we cannot trust with our hearts – for whatever reason. Best to not insist they change. And always better we not have to change to suit them!
Linda S. Fitzgerald, CEO & Visionary Partner
Champion of Ordinarily Extraordinary Women of the World
A Women’s Place Network, Inc. dba
Affiliated Women International
Neighborhood Boutiques-OPEN for YOUR BUSINESS
Specializing in PROMOTING Women in Micro-Business Worldwide
COFFEE in the NEIGHBORHOOD
JOIN US HERE:
The Neighborhood at Facebook
Neighborhood Boutiques at Facebook
[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]https://affiliatedwomeninternational.com//wp-content/uploads/2015/05/linda-google-NB-profile-pic.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]I have a ‘fiery’ passion to see women become all they are designed to be – personally, professionally and most of all – spiritually. I write, teach, mentor and coach with that passion in mind. As an author and prolific blogger, I reach out to women in all walks of life, especially women of faith to empower and equip them for greatness. [/author_info] [/author]